1- Arizona Cardinals (8-0) 0
Nathan Ravioli the rookie from Florida State remains to lead the time to victory… With the duo backs of Darkwa and Johnson at his side these Arizona Cardinals will be tough to bring down. Not to mention the #1 Defense in the league and #2 Offense in the league these birds might just keep flyin...
2 - Oakland Raiders (7-1) 0
A lot can be said about the Oakland Raiders. First off, #2 in defense it looks like Watt and Mack are killing the opposing team at this point. Let’s not forget how the threat of Carr and Cooper keeps teams playing over top. Until Lynch comes to finish you off… #3 On Offense. Looks like another playoff run but that’s just me.
3 – Chicago Bears (6-2) 0
Super Bowl Champion. Playing against this man you better bring some fire power… With the new addition of Will Fuller Bears just continue to be more threatening…? However it might night be the 85 Bears’ defense don’t let that trick you… Adrian Amos is out to kill… And he has his permit… Phil and Titchell Trubisky Will stay #1 in the battle of the North.
4 – Los Angeles Rams (6-2) 1
With the high powered offense with Gurley at your back you just know you’re going to go far. Or do you? With the rams trailing behind the Cardinals the battle is very close but the outstanding performance of Gurley might be able outlast the duel back threat of the Cardinals. Los Angeles has got your back.
5 – Los Angeles Chargers (6-2) 1
Los Angeles doesn’t have your back though Chargers. But you don’t give a shit. With the #2 defense in yards roll in I only think one thing. Joey Bosa… He hasn’t got much recognition but you just know he’s putting in work… but let’s not forget the offense of Williams and Allen. What a power house duo.
6 – Atlanta Falcons (7-1) 1
Coming in at #6 we have our favorite CM Gabble. To be honest I’m proud of you and I believe there’s so much more in store for you. You just need to unleash your true powers and skull fuck the lives of non-believers. But for real did you guys know Gabble is #1 In Pts, # 1 In Rushing, #1 in Yds. allowed, #1 in Passing yds allowed…. Did you also know that he stat pads in one of the weakest divisions? Now you know.
7 – Baltimore Ravens (6-2) 2
Tinklenut, And the Baltimore Ravens. One minute he’s in town the next Minute he’s home but that’s no excuse for him to fuck your wife. But seriously he’ll do it. Anyway, Ravens are dogshit in there stats, but I guess that’s okay. You’re doing a great job and I’m honestly shocked.
8 – Greenbay Packers (5-3) 3
The packers man himself… A legend around these parts…. Or maybe washed up? Tough Division for Greg. But I never count this guy out he knows what he’s doing. I’m a believer. You go Greg. You go…
9 – Jacksonville Jaguars (6-2) -5<
With a loss to the embarrassing Houston Texans, The Jaguars drop a few spots… They’re obviously still top dogs, but this loss doesn’t excuse what could happen down the road. From watching tape of the Texans @ Jaguars we discovered that Jalen Ramsey is just a steaming pile of dicks when playing overtop with Deandre. “Oh, He was in this game?” Said WR Star Hopkins… Jaguars aren’t to take beatings like that. He will look for his revenge game. In the process will most likely playing with rage to win his games.
10 – Dallas Cowboys (5-3) +2
The Dallas cowboys make a splash going up a few spots thanks to the performance of Zeke. America’s team will continue to hunt that playoff win. And I have a feeling it’s coming soon…. Good luck to the Dallas organization and congrats for still being 1 and done. Really living up to the legacy.
11 – New York Giants (5-3) +2
Have you ever heard of a team with too much star power and not enough skill? Of course not… But now you have welcome to the New York Football Giants where all they do is win… At losing in key games. Unless it’s the Patriots. However Jarvis and Odell may be the best in the UFL but somehow only have Just under 600yds… Come on man Cheese with this will you have the chance. For Fucks sake.
12 – Detroit Lions (5-3) -4
Another NFC north, Strong team. Strong Heart. Cocky as fuck. I really like this guy and he deserves it. I don’t like a lot of people like I do you. But you’re fuckin’ special guy. Shit talking Wicked, our lord and savior. Side note. Glad we got a lion’s guy that’s not complete ass. You do you brotha. Fuck’em in the pussy.
13 – Indianapolis Colts (5-3) +1
Congrats to the Colts, Another win another step. Led by Andrew the colts are nothing to mock at. These guys are fucking confusing. He’s not good. But somehow he’s fucking great. Keep playing games my guy. You gotta beat the overrated Jaguars which is pretty easy IMO.
14 – Tennessee Titans (5-2) +1
Hey look another AFC south guy. Very underrated. NewNak needs no introduction. Some people need to be humble like this man. Notta a lot to say bro… You do well, my fingers fucking hurt though.
15 – Minnesota Vikings (3-5) +3
Finally this ass hat. He’s good but not great. Overrated. Worst in his division clearly. Best team skill wise in the UFL just ran it to the ground. Good job my dude. Not everyone can be as good to do that to a team.
16 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-3) 0
Not much to say, Keep playing you’re doing great you’re in a good spot right now. Best of luck Noobie.
17 – New England Patriots (5-4) -7
I thought this guy was good? Is he not anymore? Alright. Well keep doing you I believe you will do great things in your future. Colin isn’t no lie he’s fucking great. I just have no idea why your 4 losses already I was thought of you as top dog.
18 – Washington Redskins (3-4) +1
Good job moving up you deserved it. Now what are you going to do while you tank? I’m interested in a few players named Josh Norman. HMU guy. But yeah you’re doing fine.
19 – Buffalo Bills (3-5) -2
Bills Are a confusing team, you’re good and then you’re not stop fucking with my mind.
20 - San Francisco 49ers (4-5) +1
Who the fuck are you. And why are you 1 better than me.
21 – Houston Texans (3-5) +6
Do you ever watchmojo? Ever seen top ten anime comebacks. Well Cory in the house is #1, then it’s followed by Texans at Jags. Good fucking shit guy.
22 – Pittsburgh Steelers (4-4) 0
You wild girl. Keep’em coming.
23 – Denver Broncos (4-4) +2
As you can tell my fingers are really hurting. But what the fuck is your team……….. Richard Sherman, Von Miller, Aaron Rodgers, Kelvin Benjamin, JJ Nelson, Taylor Gabriel, teddy Bridgewater. Like what the actual fuck…. Stop trading and play madden
24 - Kansas City Chiefs (3-6) -4
Wicked… always a pleasure…. Lamb chop… be cookin in the wind with my tail bone…. Barkin in the sky…. Yeah…. I said tail bone….
25 – Cincinnati Bengals (3-5) -2
John ross isn’t your answer.
26 – Carolina Panthers (3-6) -2
And AJ Green isn’t your answer. God you make me sick….
27 – Miami Dolphins (1-7) +2
And now to Dolphins thanks for Parker bro.
28 - New York Jets (2-6) -2
Sorry about the rage induced serum I injected you with… Don’t be a bitch next time.
29 – New Orleans Saints (1-6) -1
Scorch dude… one of these seasons is yours… Im tellin you.
30 – Philadelphia Eagles (0-8) +1
CONGRATS ON THE SB… ah shit wrong league.
31 – Seattle Seahawks (0-8) +1
So how’d that Richard trade go?
32 – Cleveland Browns (0-8) -2
Ah yes… This is where you belong. Much better now we have a power rankings.