Drinking the Yaterade - Season 80 Predictions

by AST1N 11 months ago

To start this all off, I feel like I owe all my fans (also known as the Field Yation) an apology. As many of you know, my longstanding Yaterade article’s were not only coming out super late, you may have noticed they stopped being written. And to that, I must say that I am sorry. Whatever it was, I just wasn’t enjoying covering the league. Draft coverage was gone and almost felt automated, games turned into whoever can get the high score would win and if you weren’t scoring 40+ you weren’t winning, let’s see who can toe the line on simulation gameplay, etc.

I just wasn’t having fun, and I don’t think I was alone. Many of the big hitting media folks were suddenly M.I.A.

And then Electronic Arts said “watch this” and boom, everything we knew about the cycle was kaput.

And honestly… it was exactly what the league needed. We needed a fresh start. A time to re-organize, refresh, and reboot. Reset the league to the foundation created years ago. Getting back to Offense vs. Defense slugfests. About the realism. The challenge.  And frankly, the fun.

Back to being the “Premier Sim Football League” we all came to love.

And I am here for it.

And I am here to tell you all about my predictions.

We are back in business.


‘Tis A Scratch

Don’t look now. Well okay, go take a look. Moji and the Jets (no, not that “Bennie and the Jets” parody song involving Italian cuisine that young Jets fans are blowing up Tiktok with) are currently sitting at an uncomfortable 2-2 record, with questions about a secondary’s catching skills and a giant question of who is playing QB this week (hey look, sim Jets football!). The alarming part of all this is who those two losses are: Andy and Eikim. Now, no disrespect to those two and hats off to them for coming in and hand delivering some L’s to Moji hot and fresh out of the oven, but for a coach who just went like 43-3 in the regular season in LAC and losing to two guys who flirted with bottom 5 records every season during that span, many are wondering if it is time to panic. To answer that question: No. They will be fine. Even with a very good Bills team, I still will favor Moji over Spencer. I won’t bring up the Dolphins. And I don’t believe in Monty and the Patriots yet. While I don’t think the Jets will be the top dog in the AFC, I still think they end up winning the division and this upcoming offseason will help Moji build these guys into a much better team.


Top 5! Well Bottom 5… Tomato, Tomato

Let’s talk about the draft! Yes, that beautiful beast we finally got back. And let’s talk about who is the best teams are to getting those top 5 picks (not counting if anyone traded their picks like IDIOTS!).

  1. Miami Dolphins
  2. Chicago Bears
  3. Carolina Panthers
  4. Kansas City Chiefs
  5. Tennessee Titans

Honorable (or dishonorable) Mentions: Jaguars, Rams, Seahawks, Commanders

Silk needs to figure out how to make this offense run. It’s a travesty watching them right now. LV and the Bears are going to have their hands full with the NFC N and frankly has the worst roster of the bunch. If I were him, I would trade away one of my skill guys and find the same guy from somewhere else. The Panthers team is just not good, and Matt Corral is the face of “Not Good”. It’s a match made in heaven. BP and the Chiefs. I don’t even know what to say besides go ahead and trade Mahomes for the 28 draft picks that were offered for you and re-tool your team, because starting 0-4 with him is a waste of money. And lastly, welcome back Kevin. Maybe you are a bit rusty, but the struggle is real and the QB situation is a tough one to navigate.


Let’s Throw Some Darts

Today I challenge myself to pick 3 teams to make the playoffs that might be a surprise (pleasant or unpleasant, you decide).

  1. Arizona Cardinals – Glenn
  2. Cincinnati Bengals – Terry
  3. Denver Broncos – Roc

For the NFC, I have the Giants, Eagles, Niners, Vikings, Bucs, and Falcons making it. That leaves one spot, and watch out for Glenny.

Terry finds himself back with the Bengals and can still smell the fresh air from when he was last coaching there. And by fresh air I mean reminiscing of getting steam rolled in the Super Bowl a couple of times. And frankly, that’s a huge step up from where he’s been recently.

And Roc being in the playoffs might not seem weird, but taking that Broncos team there will be a feat no one else wanted to try.


We Need A Bigger Jar

The complaints about Y button / INTs being dropped will not cease. Buckle up.

Also, I threw this prediction in because I could use an easy win.

Just like every team who sees the Dolphins on their schedule.

Boom, roasted.


Season 80 Offensive Rookie of the Year –

John Metchie III Stats, News, Bio | ESPN

John Metchie III, Houston Texans

This is actually going to be one of the most debated votes we have for OROY in a long time. So many candidates worthy of discussion: Can one of the like 7 rookie QBs get it? (Doubt) Breece Hall, Rachaad White, Ken Walker, Pacheco, Pierce…. The HBs are loaded. And then there are like 10 WRs who are going to be near the top of their teams receiving yards. Go ahead and flip a coin for the winner. Better yet, just get like a 32 sided dice and roll that.

Season 80 Defensive Rookie of the Year-

Kayvon Thibodeaux Stats, News, Bio | ESPN

Kayvon Thibodeaux, New York Giants

I really hope he doesn’t try to become a household name in my articles, because typing out his last name correctly off the top of my head is painful. Thibs currently has 7 sacks in the first 3 games and if that rate continues, this won’t be a fair contest. Kyle Hamilton has 4 INTs in Baltimore in 4 games, so another name to watch, as well as a couple of DBs starting for the Vikings playing in a turnover-prone division could make names for themselves.

Season 80 Offensive Player of the Year –

Dalvin Cook Stats, News, Bio | ESPN

Dalvin Cook, Minnesota Vikings

For this award, I am going to shy away from any QBs, unless they do more than throw the ball (such as scrambling QBs). With that in mind, I don’t see this being close. Adel has already proven to us that this is where his team will go, ride or die. And you can’t blame him. Even with his two stud WRs and great TE, how much do you trust Kirk Cousins? He’s gotta go with the safe hands.

Season 80 Defensive Player of the Year –

Nick Bosa Stats, News, Bio | ESPN

Nick Bosa, San Francisco 49ers

I give Bosa the nod over other players because I just think hes going to end up torturing his division mates. The only thing to hold him back from outrageous sack numbers might be his teammates getting to the QB first. Bosa already has 6 sacks and 3 FFs in 4 games. Game wrecker.

Season 80 Most Valuable Player –

Tom Brady Stats, News, Bio | ESPN

Thomas Patrick Edward Brady Jr., Tampa Bay Buccaneers

And no one was happy this day.

Season 80 Super Bowl –

Full Highlights: Broncos 23, Vikings 13

Minnesota Vikings 27, Denver Broncos 13

And no one was happy this day.


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